I was….tired. So much going on, and it seemed like every additional morning that I woke up I was barely rolling out of bed and stumbling through the motions of another morning.
No excuses…my kids are old enough to not wake me up (usually). Husband’s schedule has been good. I haven’t been sick (not really). Work is going well.
So…I was struggling to figure out why the difficult awakenings. And though I’m not a morning person (my husband still thinks I am) I usually can awake with some eventual spring in my step. There was nothing, no spring, no morning enthusiasm. Not depression….not too little sleep…just nothing.
Was it the fact that the weight of the last 3 years is still weighing on me? Was it my age? Was it the ever unknown future? Was it family stress? Was it still winter? (I love winter). The reasons…excuses…they just were. And I didn’t necessarily mind them…but I wasn’t sure what else to do.
Finally one morning I woke up…literally. I think I’ve mentioned that I am musical and often wake up with a song playing in my head/heart. Well, this time it wasn’t a song. I woke up, sat up (instead of rolling out) and the words were nearly audible and very clear in my mind “Bless the Lord oh my soul, bless His holy Name!” They were rushed, like being said in a hurry. Now awake in more ways than one, I immediately found my mind completing the phrase “Bless the Lord oh my soul, and forget not His promises”… As I stumbled to my usual work morning prep, the words kept repeating on recycle.
And I began to smile. And I understood. All the things above have been ways that I knew my life could make me tired and sluggish, but I hadn’t thought they were truly suffocating my spirit. But the Enemy had used them to put me to sleep, to busy my mind while sleeping so that when I woke up I was so already overwhelmed that I was unable to clear my head. The way the words were almost forced, speaking quickly, it was clear that the battle was not one of flesh but one of spirit, and waking up with the Praise of Jesus in my mind and on my lips was the winning battle strategy…whether it was going to be a easy or hard day, a good or bad one, I needed to be prepared to fight the battle that was unseen.
“Bless the LORD, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Psalm 103: 1-5
